Ass-Bandits of the Caribbean (aka Forbidden Shores)

I hadn't really intended to review Jane Lockwood's Forbidden Shores today -- after all, it's not even out yet, and I hate to be a tease -- but someone brought a bit of interesting and disturbing news about the book's upcoming release to my attention, and I really think I owe it to you all to share it. Otherwise you'll either wind up missing out on one of the most tummy-twisting erotic stories of the year or buying it for your grandmother, thinking it's something entirely different.

First, here's the blurb as it appears on Jane Lockwood's website:

At the dawn of the nineteenth century two strangers set sail for a Caribbean island where sugar is king and human life is cheap. Clarissa Onslowe, ruined and exiled from her family, with nothing more to lose, seeks a rich protector. Disillusioned lawyer Allen Pendale entertains himself on the long voyage teaching the enthusiastic Miss Onslowe the arts of seduction.

He doesn't expect to fall in love with her.

And Clarissa falls for the man who can meet her price but can't return her affections because he loves someone else--Allen.

The three of them are bound together by love, desire, and jealousy, a fragile triangle that shatters when Allen uncovers a secret from the past.

Sounds delish, doesn't it?

Well, I'm here to tell you, it absolutely is, but let's put off my rave review for a moment while I share the blurb posted by the publisher on Amazon:

In the tropical paradise of nineteenth-century Barbados, two powerful men and one beautiful woman are drawn into a passion that will tie them together-and possibly destroy them...

Allen Pendale only meant to entertain himself during his long voyage to the Caribbean when he shamelessly offered to tutor the beautiful Clarissa Onslowe in the sensual arts. He never expected to fall in love with her, or that his erotic instruction would lead her into the life of a courtesan-and win her the affections of another man.

Used to getting his way, wealthy plantation owner Lord Lemarchand-otherwise known as March-will let nothing come between himself and Clarissa, the seductress who's aroused every fiber of his being. Not even if it means destroying everything in his path, including the woman he loves.

Bound together by chains of desire, passion, jealousy, and betrayal, this fragile triangle will be forced to face the ecstasy of their desire, along with the perils of their forbidden passion. And if Clarissa can't bring herself to give up her nightly pleasures, her dangerously sensual ways will bring about her downfall.

Um...notice any discrepancies there? I do. Major ones. In fact, if it weren't for the names of the characters, I'd think these were entirely different books.

Most noticeably absent from the publisher's blurb is any reference to March's love for Allen, a powerful element of the story with the potential to draw many potential readers and repel many others. Forbidden Shores contains definite and dramatic male/male sexual contact that isn't advertised anywhere on the book's cover, and isn't that just a crying shame? How many women are going to miss out as a result?

Also absent is Clarissa's conscious decision to seek a protector. The publisher's blurb makes her becoming a courtesan sound like a result of her relationship with Allen, when actually it's just the opposite. She's a strong woman who, despite being a victim of circumstances, is anything but a victim.

And what happened to Allen's secret from the past? I thought secrets were key hooks in writing book blurbs, and believe me, the endlessly yummy Allen Pendale's got a doozy.

You know, the more I think about it, the more I believe the publisher must have accidentally mixed up Jane's book with another, less adventurous (and obviously more boring) book. Their blurb doesn't sound anything like the marvelously erotic and slightly disturbing story I read. The 80's-style bodice ripper cover they came up with is in no way indicative of the content, and even the title is vintage (and dare I say generic?) bodice-ripper.

If it were up to me, I'd have stuck with Jane's tongue-in-cheek working title, Ass-Bandits of the Caribbean. It's slightly more to the point and infinitely more memorable.

So if you were thinking of buying Forbidden Shores for your grandma as a nostalgic memento of the bodice-ripper era, forget it. The book is NOT what the publisher advertises it to be. It's an EROTIC ROMANCE, a fact that's mentioned nowhere on the cover or on Amazon.

If, on the other hand, you've been looking for an edgy, hot, and very British erotic foray into the past, look no further. Jane Lockwood's Ass-Bandits of the -- I mean Forbidden Shores -- is the book for you.

(Oh, it's going to be released tomorrow, October 2nd! If you buy it and love it, spread the word, because the publisher's not going to do it.)