Writer's Corner - Body Language Basics (Romance)

Wylie here!
I did an informal poll on my own blog to help me decide my topic. The basics of body language was the overwhelming favorite, so allow me to present some rambling chatter on how you can use voluntary and involuntary gestures to enhance your writing.

Body language is the term for nonverbal communication through movements or gestures and according to one study, makes up around 55% of what we are communicating. That's huge! And a terrific fact to keep in mind since we, as writers, are consistently told to show not tell.
Here's a no-brainer example:
Sarah was mad. Thanks for telling us...
Sarah leaned into Max, her lips peeled back in a snarl. Did I mention that Sarah's a dog? Just kidding,...

When I began researching body language, I quickly discovered that I could easily fill a few weeks worth of blog posts, so I'm going to try and restrain myself (stop laughing) and stick to what we, as predominantly romance writers (?) may find useful, and perhaps another time, I'll focus on other areas - like aggression, fear, embarrassment, happiness, etc...
For now, I give you:

ROMANTIC BODY LANGUAGE

There are many body movements, both voluntary and involuntary, used to signal a 'person of interest' of your interest in partnering with them.

From afar ~

• mirroring - you can signal interest by mimicking another's pose, making them feel at ease with you.
• eyes - this works best from a distance when you can hold eye contact for slightly longer than normal, then look away briefly, then look back at them.
• preening - preening in front of someone is like shouting "HEY! I'm trying to make myself look good for you!!" but with subtly. Your hair is magic - toss your head so that it swings, finger comb or smooth it back, twirl a curl. The not so obvious are polishing spectacles (naughty professor, anyone?), smoothing your skirt or picking imaginary lint from clothes. Again, remember - these can be used in a voluntary or non-voluntary ways. Sarah tucked a fallen lock behind her ear as she glanced away from Max, exposing her creamy white neck. What he wouldn't give for nibble.
• caressing yourself - a simple gesture of rubbing your arms, casually stroking your cheek or leg sends the message "Hey handsome, I'd like to stroke you like this" or "I want YOU to stroke me like this." Not to mention the added benefit of drawing attention to your long tanned gams, or your gym-toned triceps.
• crotch display - and I'm not talking Basic Instinct. Think about how a male may sit down - do they lean back, legs slightly apart? Guess what - they're showing off their package.
  
• fake interest in others - is she rubbing the other guys arm but staring at you? This is a technique used to invoke envy, an attempt at "I could be doing this to you, big guy."

Let's assume that you've now closed the distance. Here are some movements to use when you're physically closer to the person of interest ~

• positioning/pointing - think of how your character is sitting or standing. Subtly pointing a knee, foot or arm in the direction of the 'person of interest' is signaling "I want to go in your direction".
• sensual dancing - they don't call it the horizontal mambo for nothing! Dancing and sex are closely related so dancing can be a wonderful tool for your characters to show their sensual side. But don't make it too dramatic or it can have the opposite effect! (Think: Elaine)
• leaning - leaning your body towards another person indicates your desire to be close. This can be done with a simple head tilt and works best combined with listening intently to show your interest in what they're saying. Subtle nodding shows you're in agreement and implying "Yes, I do like you." Leaning is also a great test because if the other person steps back or leans away from you, they're speaking volumes! Or you may need a breath mint.
• close in - this follows nicely from leaning. When you move from the safety of social space into personal body space, your basically showing the person that you want to be closer to them, perhaps hold them. If you stand in front of them in a head-on conversational stance, you're also signaling others to stay away.
• the gaze - when standing close, two people who are interested in one another will hold each others gaze for longer and longer periods. Tilting the head slightly down, and looking up with bedroom eyes is like screaming "My place. Now!". And here's an interesting tidbit you'll want to throw into your manuscript: When attraction peaks, eyes will dilate such that the dark pupils get much bigger. This is may explain why dark-eyed people can often seem more attractive. They're unconsciously sending a signal. Wonder if that's the magic behind Cindy Crawford...
• touching - this may seem obvious, but don't forget those 'accidental' brushes. Follow with a gentle touch to the safe zones - arms, back, hair - before moving to the gentle caress that strays to the sexual regions - the thigh, neck, torso...

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If you found this useful, or if you'd like more about fear, aggression, happiness, etc, please let me know in the comments section because this was a blast to research!

Cheers,
Wylie